A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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i love to lick...

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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