mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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