A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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