Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops