Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops