Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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