A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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this website is a bad joke

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Yellow People !!

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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