Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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