Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

Justin Bieber

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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