How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Poker face

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Refridgerator.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops