How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops