What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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