Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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