What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops