What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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justin beiber sucks

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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A van drives into a car.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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