What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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