In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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