Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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These Jokes suck.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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