There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops