There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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