Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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