Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Get off my porch homo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

kill yourself....with a cigarette

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I have an idea! You leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops