How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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What is 9+10? 19

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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