Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Steve Jobs is alive.

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

Knock Knock Who did that?

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

knock knock go away

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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