Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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