My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

women's rights

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

sky silverstein

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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