Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

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Roses are red, yup.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops