What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

Hi.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

Knock knock, COME IN!

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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