Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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You sick fiend

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Poker face

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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