Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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