A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Hello

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Phew... it's gone.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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