A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops