How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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alex is cool

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Pickles are powerful

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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