A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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I asked her where you were.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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