Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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womens rights

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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