Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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vitamin c

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops