look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

Lololol

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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