Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Good job, son.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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I literally died laughing

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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