Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

. . I am a whale

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Actually it was me Josh brown

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops