I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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