"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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