CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

like most people my age. im 27

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops