So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops