Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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