Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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stinky boner

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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sfdg

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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