What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

What do u call a cripple Biv

Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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