Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

no.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops