roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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