What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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