What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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hi michael

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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