What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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NEVER

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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