knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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69

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops