How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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