What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

thumb_up thumb_down

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down

So FDR walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

thumb_up thumb_down

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

thumb_up thumb_down

what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

thumb_up thumb_down

How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

thumb_up thumb_down

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops