How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

knock knock who`s there me oh come in

69...you know how awkward this is now...

A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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