Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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test test

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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