How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Chlamydia

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops