Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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