What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Immigration Laws

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops